DOO DOO DOO DOO BLOG UPDATE

Welcome back bloggers,

I’m sitting here now reading all my blogs back whilst kayleigh and tadhg laugh their heads off saying do another one. But i wish i had carried it on because it really made me laugh and so much has happened in 2010 that i would have liked to share with you, so i will attempt to give you a brief update. (also the title is the update from the inbetweeners very funny).

First of all successfully cried at my dads wedding as i was best man – not cool but everyone else thought it was.

second i moved in with kayleigh full time making it my second full time job.

thirdly i graduated gaining a lower second class degree not bad at all but i still have no full time job well i still work for my current employer.

fourthly i was asked to be best man for will and lisas wedding, but i think that was due to my experience as best man from this year. I did wonder when will asked for my CV?

fifthly i have started my own business so please support me on that and fucking join the forum and ask a fucking question please!

Thanks to tasha she has started her own fashion blogs and her life in the city, thats what made me look back on my one.

I havent really got much more to say this was just an update, but i will make them more funny if i remember to fucking write them

 

see you soon guys girls and gays

gary loves you x

Haven’t Spoke In A While

Hey people, i havent wrote a blog in a while but then nothing fantastic is happening in my life so there you go. Il start with monday night. one word oceana,two words fucking messy. I was very happy as me and tadhg decided to bunk the train while paul and joe paid to go to kingston. When i got into oceana to pay i gave her larkins oceana card and 10 quid and she gave me 11 pound back. Confused so was i, i got in for free! which i knew then would have made the night so good as that was 2 extra drinks. We started out in the r’n'b room getting smashed with all the boy on beers until we started shots and then joe was on the wine. I decided to get a southern comfort lemonade and put my white corkeys shot into it and down it, i did it twice. The first time was ok because i drank it really quickly but the second time i let the shot settle slightly, and if you dont know what the white one taste like get it they are immense but its like milk, it started to curdle. Nothing really excited happened except when i was in the smoking area, a smoking guru told me not smoke so i decided to start shouting this is a mix race jesus, with a beard. I was pretty drunk at that time. We ended the night by heading to sub way and getting sub of the day which was chicken tikka ( what a sub). I was talking to the random boy next to me and he said i like alot of sweetcorn to the guy behind the counter and i agreed not knowing i would just have a sub full of sweetcorn and knowing my arse in the morning would creating a dark breaded sweetcorn sub. We jumped in cab who asked us for 14 pound up front but due to the eating of the subs we persuaded him to  take us without money upfront, and expressed how two groups had already run from the cab early without paying and we promised him we would do the same. I then seem to have this problem where i talk to cab drivers about how stupid our country is or the problems the country has and today where the adverts of the african children ad how you can give 2 pound a month to make a difference. I was disagreeing and saying that 2 pounds fuck all,what can they get for 2 pound, you can bearly buy 2 bottles of water in a shop for 2 pound and that only lasts you a day these poor bastards have gotta save it to last a week. I was also saying that its not just up to the individual to give 2 pounds, if its such a brilliant cause why doesn’t it state on the advert that the british government have funded this cause thousands of pounds? Thats because they don’t, due to the amount they have to give to prisons and other scum bags. So we made him pull up by a close alley where we all jumped out and run. Poor cabbie. I was last out and did actually hear him say ‘ oh no not again please ‘ which i thought was rather funny.

So tuesday came and there was all this crisis that it was going to snow and by wednesday we had a sheet of white snow across britain. Its so funny how may peoples facebook statuses are like ‘ yeah day off work cos i told the boss i was snowed in when i live on the M25! Kayleigh, Paul, Carly and me decided to go over to the golf course and try and cross the river on the course. We trotted over there taking our time and paul had his gay rambling shoes on which didn’t make him slide or get his feet wet ad me having a pair of vans on, making my feet feel like they were bear foot. Paul decided to climb across the river but relised the sheet of ice wasnt very thick and bottled it. In an attempt to make paul cross i egged him on and started jumping over the river, i then look back and see the ice fall away from pauls foot and his tryed to place his other foot on the grass above but put that on the ice and his whole lower leg went into the ice cold water  and poor carly was there to hold his hand. It was a huge highlight of the day and im still laughing now

i hope you enjoyed that, tune in on sunday for another update cheers readers love you all.

mr.gpw smallman

Wheel Chair Racer

Hope you are all having a good christmas and i wish you all the best for the new year. I haven’t been up to much lately i visted my dad and kayleigh met my soon to be northern step-mum which was cool and we exchanged some presents. I got two cheeky little ralphys from my nan as well and after two huge dinners one from my dad and one from my nan, i gifted myself with a early new year log or maybe it was the end of my christmas log, who knows? Tune in to find out when my 1st mew year log will be! Ha!

So today on my way home to twickenham, i was driving fast as i wanted to get home for a piss and there was the slowest driver in front of me in the world. I always rant and rave about drivers that have bigger engines than me that drive slower than me. I then noticed she had a wheelchair in the back and i sort of felt bad for cursing at her, but then i got to thinking why has this disabled bird gone and bought a 1.4 litre golf. If shes not going to rip the shit out of the car its pointless. She could have bought a 1.2 litre and saved her money on the car and her insurance. Nevertheless she still had a great set of wheels!

You will be pleased to know that im participating in a half marathon up north somewhere with kayleighs parents and ive gotta train stupid amounts as i told her mum that i could beat her as she laughs at my 10k time. This could be difficult but im more than sure your going to read about my pain and pleasure of running in the next few blogs as i have agreed to start my running tomorrow with a 2 mile run which shouldnt be to bad. In a way im looking forward to it but im still sort of scared as im so fat these days, il plan my run wrong and pass macdonalds and stop off for a cheeky burger and ruin my insides as well as the burger just nestling safely in a slot in the fat of my stomach. Sometimes after a m-d’s i can actually plod my stomach and make out the where the nuggets and quater pounder is. Today im going to stop drinking fizzy drinks (not alcohol though) as its rotting my teeth and very heavy on the fat situation.

So have a happy new year to you all, enjoy 2010 and make it a good year

see you soon gary smallman x

Bet You Don’t Even Give A Fuck

Ok so im still managing to write these blogs, im very pleased with myself and i have added a group on facebook to promote people to view my exciting new blogs ha. Football today was fucking shit spurs beat us again, so im expecting will to be texting me any minute saying west ham are shit and they are going down, but your spurs team are full of jews so fuck off you spurs wankers (by the way no offense to my jewish community followers). Again fulham are doing very well but looks like they have lost out to high flyers chelsea (who couldnt beat the mighty hammers), and who i have tipped to win the league and arsenal to win the champs league from their impressive group stages. Later on man city are going to smash the fuck out of wolves and my bet would be SWP to score first with a 3-0 win. In tomorrows game we have arsenal and pompey with man utd and wigan which both arsenal and man utd will win 2-0 so thats my predication and moan about football over with.

I opened my presents from kayleigh and was quite impressed. A big step for her buying me rosie jone’s naked 2010 calendar with such a great pair of boobies and a decent air brushed body! I would fully advise you look at the month of june its worth a tissue or two. I also got a comedy fireman 1000 piece puzzle as im getting old these days and enjoy a puzzle, sitting there with a hot chocolate in 1 hand and trying to fry my brains how the puzzle is going to fit with all them red fire engines. Its weird but im will complete the puzzle as soon as i have a clip board and frame to put it in when its done.

I dont think im having enough feedback on these blogs, maybe people are seriously just thinking gal shut the fuck up your boring anyway, but its something fun for me to amuse myself with while im sitting at work. So if you are reading the blogs please let me know would be much appreciated

love you all gary smallman x

Christmas Is Over

So christmas is now over, did you enjoy it? what did you do? Did you see eastenders? it was fucking immense! i recon peggy killed dirty archer and poor ginger bradley is going to get framed cos of the blood on his hands after smashing him in the face (go on bradders). I missed boxing days eastenders as i spent the day round my dads and got very drunk with my step mum tracey and i drank a whole 15 tins. I was slightly feeling ill this morning but i aint to bad now as iam at work getting paid to write a blog which is good.

Random News…

At this current time im listening to joe the ‘and then…’ album which i fully recommend espcially if you getting down and dirty also.

So i ended up with a decent shirt and a new lyle and scott jumper but i still have kayleighs and my nans presents to come yet which im looking forward. Its mine and kayleighs christmas day today. We are having fajitas for dinner which is fucking buff as she is also cooking them and opening presents tonight and probably watching a bit of television and off to bed. Im looking forward to it, but i have defiently thought i have got old this year, i cant even stay up over 1am which is disspointing and a huge let down on nights out.

I dont know why but i keep crying when i get smashed about stupid stuff? can anyone let me know whats going on? am i gay? Thats no offence to my homosexual or bisexual viewers! Loving writing my blogs at the minute im still going strong and i try to write over 400 words on each blog to give you a wider insight. Does anyone still read these i dont really know i never get any feedback you fucking wankers. Its not like i dont ask you enough questions to answer isit, at least you could drop me a text and say ‘gal what the fuck are you on about’.

I tell you something im looking forward to carly whites 21st and i dont really know why, but its going to be a good birthday, i might write a really nice card and see if i can make her cry as i managed to make kayleigh cry with my christmas card. I hope she likes her presents i always get slightly nervous giving presents because i dont want the person to lie if they actually hate it. Whats the point just say sorry mate do you mind if i change this cos its not my style really, if you want you can come pick a different one with me that cool? Then you just wait for him to say…. you ungratful cunt. Well i havent got much more to add and the moral of this blog would be dont keep family secrets

love you all smallman out x

Christmas Day

Well the answer to that everyone is thinking is that i will try and get a few blogs in a week, and tadhg it has lasted longer than 5 minutes. So last night was a mad one, went out with bill, boland, george, rik and stew. I saw larks there with all his mates which i also said hello to. I randomly saw oliver and ben from uni which was good and we worked out that there was 7 generations of our school in there and our year was right in the middle so was good to see some various faces. I got a free cab there and back with tels mum and stan from school which saved me some money as you will find out in future blogs and i will put my bookies football bets on here so that you can copy as i have had a few wins this year which i was pleased about.

So its christmas day, and again i only really got socks and pants but as i said i enjoy getting them presents and tadhg has already pointed out that i steal all his socks so he can nick some of mine. Christmas dinner is now on the cook and smells good but my drinking from last night is slightly putting me off although i think im over the hangover if i even had one? Im extra excited this year because its my turn to sing the song before the christmas dinner but im having an awful time deciding what to sing its either dance with my father or i dont wanna know by mario winans? its a very hard choice.  So on the present front, im doing ok, i got myself a apple macbook a few weeks ago which my mother paid half for so thats nice. Why do we always expect so much at christmas and why do we have to give to get, i think we should just give 1 gift to each person and then we receive 1 from each person, cos i feel bad as i didn’t get my mum much but she gave me loads and im still wondering what kayleigh might have bought. If anyone has any clues i would be grateful for some comments on what you think she might have got me.

Oh i have been searching youtube for funny shit and i went on to someones facebook and saw dupstep santa which made me laugh so much so im going to attempt to add it to this blog for my beautiful viewers. Ok so i dont think i can do it so il just post you the link BRUVAAAAAA.

see you soon smallman out x

Christmas Eve – Introduction.

I have started this blog thing in help to understand my life in a better way, to help remind me of good times that happen in 2010. Im writing to understand the hype on christmas eve, as facebook is filled with useless shit about being excited that its christmas. Im not scrooge,cos i love the presents giving and the christmas dinner but, i’ve been sat in this chair all morning very fucking bored. Theres nothing to do around this house and area, i’m away from university friends but i’m back to see some classic mates. Tonight it sort of a reunion where the lads will meet in the coopers for a good old knees up (thats uncle bryne from gavin and stacey). You will notice that i speak a lot on films and programs as well as my university life including my friends and my beautiful girlfriend kayleigh. You may also read in my blogs my success in finding a job after uni or my grades that i get to hold me back to do another year. Which at the minute is looking likely. I have agreed to myself to write as much as i can in my blog until next christmas eve where my journey of 2010 will come to an end. Its a sort of diary for me as im interested in what i may forget about 2010 and help with my anger management course, only joking. In the new year i have decided to join my girlfriends dance company and learn a few routines of hip-hop and street dance whilst playing for the famous simms fc. For those that dont know simms fc, its St. Marys University football team, in which i managed in the second year of my course and loved every minute. I met a lot of good people and made some good friends and maybe gained some respect from people along the way. It taught me to be organised and challenged me as a person. I think i didnt do have bad really we came mid table and if i was to compare us with a team in the premiership then it would be Everton. As these seem to do well when they want to play well but shit most of the time. Im going to stop writing and let you get excited about the next blog that may arise just like when jesus rose from the dead. Although i tend not to believe as i have never seen anyone heal another person with there hands only them geezers at the hospital and even then people still die of some stupid disease from just being in the fucking hospital.

Oh just to keep you up to date, i have booked an amersterdam trip for my 21st, very very messy

speak soon, smallman out x